The Mayonnaise Paradox - Why are we all so fat?

Cabbage soup, tapeworms and imaginary food are all ways that have been proposed to lose weight. But what if I can tell you that there is just one single food that is probably the reason you are such a whale today? That sticky, white liquid that you can't help but lick off your fingers when it goes everywhere, you guessed it - mayonnaise!

A tablespoon of the good stuff has on average 61 calories per tablespoon (and lets be honest, who sticks to just one tablespoon?!) In order to lose a pound of fat it is sad that you have to create a deficit of 3500 calories. This means that for every 57.4 tablespoons of (unneccessary) mayonnaise that you have, you gain a pound.

Assuming you have on average one tablespoon a day, this equals a gain of 6.4lbs per year. Lets assume that up until the age of 16 you are growing and therefore ignore all that, this stil leads to a high number for most people on the MPS (Mayonnaise Paradox Scale). To work out your MPR (Mayonnaise Paradox Rating) follow this formula -

(Age - 16) x (tablespoons of mayonnaise per year/57.4)

Lets assume a man of 21 years old who eats on average one tablespoon a day. His MPR is 32, meaning that he would be 32lbs lighter had he not touched the mayonnaise since his 16th birthday.

Please pass me the ketchup...


What is your MPR? Comment below!

Should we get rid of the penalty shoot out?

Wembley Stadium. 3pm. Hot day. I was there to see my team, Crewe Alexandra, go on to defeat Cheltenham Town in order to be promoted to League One! Throughout the match, one thought dominated my mind; please no penalties! The penalty debate has been prevalent for a long time. The main question is are they fair? They normally take place after 120 minutes (90 minutes in some competitions, namely the Football League trophy). At this point, players are tired, mentally and physically. A lot of it is down to luck and it is often the case that the better team loses. However, is this reason enough to claim that they are unjust? More so, should they stay in the game?

No fan of the game likes to see their team in a penalty shootout. Especially people like myself who know their club is almost guaranteed failure if it got to this stage. So if it isn't for the fans, what is it for? One argument is that it is great for neutrals. As I was watching the Chelsea v Bayern game, I loved the tension and the atmosphere knowing that whatever the outcome of the game I could go home happy. However, this surely isn't enough to keep them in the game?

Fans have come up with ideas in order to try and replace the PK. One that seems to be popular is the idea of taking them before the game begins. However, for me this completely changes the dynamics of a game. If a team goes into a game having won the PK, they know that a draw will see them lift whatever trophy they are battling for. It will act as a one-goal advantage and both teams will change their tactics respectively. It is difficult to argue for one team having an effective one goal advantage before the game has even started.

Secondly, another argument that seems to be gaining ground is that football shouldn't just be linked to goals. Some argue that stats such as shots on target, corners and possession should take account. However, whilst this may make it fairer, we wouldn't be watching the same game any more. Part of the beauty of its game is its seeming simplicity. Whilst one may not be able to recite the laws of the game and understand every decision, everybody can understand the most important rule; the team with the most goals wins! This would also change the dynamics. Depending on weightings, we could get teams playing keep-ball, going for corners rather than goals or shooting long shots at the keeper rather than risk them going over the bar. Also, how would this be for the fans? The easiest options would be stadiums operating scoreboards so people could keep up with the score. But who wants this? Honestly?

If you thought those were crazy, listen to these.Some suggest that every player who gets a yellow card in the 90 minutes doesn't get to play in ET. However, how much more pressure would this put on refs to get a decision right? Others say that extra time should be 7 a side. All I can ask is why? Just why? To add this, I have seen that people want the ref removed, a player taken off the pitch every five minutes in NORMAL time or removing the keeper in second half of extra time.

In my opinion, we should be adding to football, not removing. Although some aspects of the game may not seem fair, they are what we buy into and every player, manager and fan knows the score (which they might not if crazy rules were brought in!). Simplicity is the key to footballs success. Many things aren't fair about the game. Referees make mistakes, balloons get assists and a team in 7th place get promotion over the teams in 4th, 5th and 6th. Ignoring the fact this last fact is relevant to my Wembley visit, would I have it any other way? Of course I wouldn't. I like football for what it is, and don't criticise it for what it isn't. Perhaps some things could be changed. Only one man in Europe seems to argue against goal-line technology and racism and sexism are issues that need to change. But when it comes to the game itself, let's keep it the way it is. It is called the beautiful game for a reason...

What are you thoughts? Should we replace the PK? If we do what would we replace it with?

Comment below or tweet me @pablakeman

Controversial Marketing - Heineken given to babies

I wonder if this controversial advert will make a comeback any time soon?

How to run Spotify and Google Chrome in Hallward Library (or any library)

This is a blog specific to University of Nottingham students but actually applies to any library in the country.

You can get Spotify up and running on any library computer in 30 seconds by following these steps:-

1) Click this link - http://download.spotify.com/Spotify%20Installer.exe

2) Click run

3) When it comes up with the firewall thing, just click cancel

4) Log in and enjoy the music!

Remember to bring some headphones!

I attribute this next bit to Alex Handsaker who posted in Heard in Hallward. I thought I may as well put it in here but all credit goes to him. To use Google Chrome follow these steps:-

1) Click this link - https://www.google.com/chrome/eula.html?standalone=1

2) Click accept and install

3) Click run

4) Bathe in all the Chromey goodness!

Hope this helps UoN library computer/laptop users!

Feel free to comment below or tweet me @pablakeman

Harry Potter-esque Water Trick

Have you ever wished you could suspend water without a glass? Well now is your chance! Watch the video as the glass is the removed and the water stays put in the shape of the glass. Enjoy...

Tweet me @pablakeman

Turns out I am sexist...

So here is my follow up blog to "Am I sexist?". Despite the title, people who gave me, reasoned, educated responses tended to think that I wasn't in fact sexist. Some said misguided and admitted ideological differences, others were fully on my side, whilst a significant proportion at least tried to give me a reason. Here is a quick review of what I have learnt from the feedback:-

Some people don't have a sense of humour I dislike studying feminism = I don't care about (or in some people's eyes, advocate strongly) the oppression of women. I don't actually hate feminism everyone. Though I am starting to dislike many feminists for reasons I shall explain. I will be told that it because I am wrong/feel threatened/am not educated enough etc...

Some feminists are alright A big thank you to people who gave me feedback with good reasons. I don't mind people disagreeing with me. Actually, I like it when people disagree with me if they can show me a side to a problem I have missed, or allow me to see it from a different angle. One person recommended that both parents take on part-time jobs and both take on equal responsibility for the childcare. I liked this idea.

A lot of women care more about their career than their future children Wooh, another sweeping generalisation! I cannot wait for this to be hounded on but although some people don't like it, I like to be honest. From my feedback, the words I heard all the time were CAREER, CAREER, CAREER. I actually tried to explain that my blog was in fact a pro-children blog, trying to explain how you cannot put a value on the joy and gift of bringing up children. However, many, even when faced with this argument, just shouted career in my face and said that with a job they would be able to afford a child minder. Whilst I don't want to disparage child minding and childminders, I believe parents should thrive on the opportunity to bring up a child. Turns out I am one of the only ones...

Some people won't give you a chance, no matter what you say Unfortunately for too many people, just because I implied that being a housewife may not be a bad thing, it gave an opportunity for them to have a rant at me. I felt a lot of the time that their anger wasn't directed at me, but at society. However, it was me who had to put up with it and reply to it. About half of the responses were a pleasure to read and I learnt a lot. The other half were slanderous, disrespectful and didn't deserve my time. One reader will be very unhappy that I haven't followed his advice and jumped in a river.

Not everything I said was right Understandably, people disagreed with a lot of what I said and I can see why. I put too much emphasis on women working rather than men. I also didn't make clear that when I said I would support my wife, I didn't mean in a "she needs me/she is dependent on me" sort of way, but in a mutual support kind of way. I also learnt that it is too easy to say feminism or feminist and assume that they are all the same. Much as you get different denominations in religion and politics, it is the same for feminism. Due to this, the blog did leave to feminists arguing amongst themselves. Also I should never reference the daily mail!

I am a feminist I believe in equal rights for women. I believe that women should have equal pay in the workplace in the general case. I believe the feminist cause is a good one and therefore I am a feminist.

So this is just a quick review of what I have learnt. I will come back to this and edit it at some point, but I just wanted to tell people what I thought. I know this will upset certain people, but it is just my opinion, and we live in a world where I have a right to it and a right to publish it. If you disagree and have a good reason then please comment. If you disagree and just want to have a go at me, all the more reason to comment as it just makes it more enjoyable for my other readers.

Thanks for reading.

Feel free to tweet me your thoughts @pablakeman

Here is the original blog - Am I sexist?

How rich are you?

I am in the top 11.5% richest people in the world! Despite being a student with only a part-time job. This is embarrassing.

See how rich you are by clicking here