This is my first blog in a while and could be my last in even longer depending on the uptake, but here goes! After one of my friends came out yesterday and admitted he was a “radical feminist” (I won’t name names, he knows who he is) I thought it was time for me to express my views.
From an academic point of view, I dislike feminism. This is purely because so many of my modules seem to include a form of it, and it has created a lot of work for me (EDIT - This is a joke). However, my main problem with feminism is the inability to be able to give an opinion on it without it coming across in the wrong way.
Not many people haven’t heard of the feminists who burnt their bras for their rights (it is a good thing guys never had to do a similar thing to earn theirs, and lets hope they never will!) and they do have a good cause. There is no reason why a woman of equal ability to a male should earn less in the exact same job. This also shouldn’t be linked to age, disability etc…Jobs should be based solely on merit.
However, what sort of wife do I want? A housewife of course! Now before you jump to your conclusions about me and start calling me a chauvinistic pig hear me out. I am not one of these guys who expects to be waited on hand and foot, I don’t expect dinner on the table every night and all my ironing done and I don’t expect a residential, female servant.
Family is a very important thing to me and I believe that, if my financial situation allows it, I would be lucky to have a wife who stays at home. Children during their growing up need someone there to care for them. As easy as it may be financially to cart them off with a babysitter or child minder, this isn’t what I want. If my wife earns more than me then I would be more than happy to stay at home and in fact I love looking after children!
In my opinion, I agree there are certain things children, and family, benefit most from. These are based around stability in love, and I believe marriage and parental affection/closeness are important. In the ideal situation, I would have a wife who stayed home. Children seem to benefit better from a maternal influence, and if our household can afford it, why wouldn’t we?!
I am not saying if I have a wife who wants a career when I am older I would stop her. I am also not saying women should stay at home to look after children/do housework etc…All I am saying is that my ideal, perhaps over-traditional, view of the family is what I have stated above. So does this make me sexist and chauvinistic? What are your thoughts?
It is important to remember that in families where both parents work, the women still do more housework - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-206381/Working-women-housework.html
http://www.ippr.org/press-releases/111/8831/eight-out-of-ten-married-women-do-more-housework-than-their-husbands
Comment below or tweet me your thoughts @pablakeman
*To clarify, my future wife’s preferences are way above this article. I will care more about her than about my ideology, and if she wants a career she will have a career! I will support her, not because she needs supporting, but in my role as a husband I would expect the same support from her
** I don’t disagree with feminism. I support it. If anything this is an article about bringing up a child more than feminism.
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ReplyDeleteIt isn't sexist to have a preference, and some women are obviously happy to take on a homemaker role. I do, however, feel you may be making a bigger thing out of the benefit that children have from having a stay-at-home parent than there actually is. It's good for kids to have parental influences, of course, but it's also good to socialise them early and get them used to not having mummy and/or daddy around all the time so that they can work out their separation anxieties. I disagree quite a lot with the idea of nannies, but childminders and playgroups have great potential for being good influences on children in other ways than parents are. Family is important, but so is letting your child experience other people.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou're an idiot. I am sad that I wasted part of my life reading this.
ReplyDeleteyes, you are sexist
ReplyDelete@NC, yes perhaps I focus too much on the benefit that children have from a stay-at-home parent. However, it is easy to forget the benefit a parent also has? One can't put a price on the joy of raising and having children. It is is one of the greatest gifts on this earth and some people take it for granted. However, yes I agree. The more people children experience and come into contact with during their childhood, it can only be beneficial for them.
ReplyDelete@Max @emery sorry you feelthat way!
ReplyDeleteSo you've just spent about 1,000 words basically apologising for the fact that you hate feminism because you have to apologise for hating it?
ReplyDeleteYou've gone on to then say that you want a wife who will stay at home and look after your kids, and that if she wants a career, that's cool, but only if she earns more than you (something which I am sure you are aware is statistically unlikely).
If you wanted contention (and comments), well done. If you wanted to argue a reasonable case for disliking feminism you have, I am afraid, failed.
@John Doe,
ReplyDeleteI don't actually hate feminism at all. The academic thing was a joke that went wrong. A lot of people hate what they are studying whilst studying it. Not everyone, not all the time, but anyway that is beside the point. This isn't an anti-feminism blog as much as it is a pro-children blog. I took the wrong tack with the article and will be rewriting it soon when I have the time. Anyway John, I am glad you enjoyed the article!
Reading this made me really sad.
ReplyDeleteCan I ask why Camille? I am sure you have good reason and I take on all feedback.
ReplyDelete@myboxofsoap
ReplyDeletePerhaps 'hate' is a strong word. Allow me to correct myself:
"So you've just spent about 1,000 words basically apologising for the fact that you [dislike] feminism because you have to apologise for [disliking] it?"
I didn't enjoy it. It was a few minutes of my life I won't get back. And you spammed my university's FB page with it.
I do look forward to your rewrite though.
Feminism has a lot to do with the woman's right to choose what she wants to do. If she wants to stay home and look after her kids then that's fine too. Feminism does not force women to work. What you have done is stated your ideal family paradigm - that's fine. But saying that because of this you dislike feminism is ridiculous. I would like to direct you to this: http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=810
ReplyDelete"It is important to remember that in families where both parents work, the women still do more housework" - Why on earth is this important?!
@Tarana 1)That isn't the reason I say I dislike feminism. At all.
ReplyDelete2) It is important because it needs to be remembered. Women getting into the workplace is only one step towards equality, and not a very big one if they are still a 'housewife' at the same time...